i'd run away and hide with you

cursedcatpictures:

yahooanswer:

now if lady macbeth knew about pegging, i don’t think that there would have been nearly as much murder in that play

necphilak:

madhattergames:

necphilak:

modern day adaptation of norse mythology were gleipnir (the unbreakable ribbon that binds fenrir) is made out of these

Hot tip for removing these easily: turn them inside out and then pull firmly on the flap, they’ll come apart with very little effort

make your own post we’re trying to imprison an apocalyptic invincible wolf over here

jaehaerys1:

drownedconcubine:

am i allowed to say stuff on here?

deaddropfred:

Me, a 12 year old child reading “A Series of Unfortunate Events” 14 years ago: What a fascinating but terribly upsetting journey these kids are on! I’m sure they can handle it though, Violet is 15 and therefor very Old and Mature. She got this.

Me, now 26, watching these small children be tortured: what the fuck what the fuck what the f—

mindllessdreaming:

some of you have never had a count repeatedly try to steal your fortune in increasingly ridiculous disguises and it shows

fuckyeah-animalcrossing:

my animal crossing character, heelying into the museum wearing sunglasses and holding a pina colada in one hand and an enormous bug in the other: blathers, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,

dickpicjpg:

my kid: mommy will you sing me a lullaby?

me: sure sweetie

me: Yekaterina 👄 Petrovna 👠 Zamolodchikova 📢 but your dad 👨 just calls 📞📲 me Katya😘 I’m the bright 💡 red scare 👹 with the long 🍆 blonde hair 💇 always keep them 👨👱 coming back for more 🏃 you’re a basic ass hoe 💦 and it’s your time ⏰⏳ to go so bitch 🐩 let me show 👉 you 👉 the door 🚪 cause it’s me 👆 who’s getting paid 💅💰and I’m always getting laid 👉👌 the only high class 👑 Russian 🇷🇺 whore 😜 I’m a scorching 🔥 hot 💦 mess 🗑 in a skin 😏 tight dress 👗👛 that’s a rash 😷 not a herpes sore 😈 Lenin 👴 in the streets 🌴 Dostoyevsky 📚 in the sheets 🌛👣 baby 👶 are you 🙏 ready for this cold ❄ war ⚔☠ Katya 💋 Zamo 💌 lodchikova 😝

whoopsrobots:

College has me so fucked up. Some kid just told me that our final assignments are due in fifteen minutes and my first reaction was acceptance. I don’t even have anything to hand in, it’s worth 30% of my mark and I was just ready to embrace the void. Wasn’t even relieved when he said he was kidding. Nobody can touch this. I’ve surpassed this mortal plane

paulsimonsass69:

curseworm:

curseworm:

catholic school speedrun

during the first liturgy if you slap the communion wine out of the priests hands and collapse at his feet hollering in tongues you can clip right through the floor and go straight to hell

funny story when my dad was in catholic school the teacher said “the only true swear word is the lord’s name in vain” and my dad replied “so does that mean you can say ass” so he got whipped with a ruler

dianysus:

some of yall never contacted the old gods, making a deal for immortality and it shows

fujinkumi:

me: accidentally hits my lock screen button while watching youtube

youtube: you wanna get youtube red?? you fucking dumbass?? you really think you can play videos in the background without youtube red?? you fucking useless bastard.

vodni:

zaynmalikeatsass:

i hate this pic bc everyone is staring @ zayn but zayn is only looking at liam

he only got two eyes

pythondyke:

goddammit-kirk:

“That’s a funny trick to play on god” is so fucking raw and powerful but it was said by this man in reference to a video game on YouTube

Are you forgetting the fact it was spoken about this wretched spore creation